How to Love 

2003/07/12 Apostles Andre Pelser; Aje Pelser 3rd Feb 2013, 9th Aug. 2026. Harvester Cape Town. 

 

Scripture: John 21:15-17 

Joh 21:15  So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Feed My lambs.”  

Joh 21:16  He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My sheep.”  

Joh 21:17  He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep. 

 

Three ways to love God is to keep His word, to feed his sheep and to doing what He tells us to do in His word. If you learn to love God in that way it will fulfil the great commandment of loving God and your neighbour as yourself. However, if you have never tasted or experienced God’s love it is no use trying to imitate Him. God’s love is deep love. It is eternal love. It is love that believes against all odds that love conquers all in the end. Love is stronger than death, stronger than the grave, stronger than jealousy and envy. Love – God’s kind of love – never fails. The Holy Spirit of God pours that kind of love into our hearts so that we may have hope and that we might be enabled to love our enemies. Rom. 5:5.  

Who is your enemy? Who is your greatest enemy? Are you able to look your enemy in the eye and say: ‘I love you’? 

This is the kind of love a mother has for a child – it never gives us hope no matter what the circumstances are like. A true mother never stops loving her child. But even if a mother would forget her child, God promises never to forget us. He says that He has engraved your name in the palm of His hand. He is aware of you all the time. Isn’t that amazing? The great Creator of the universe is aware of you all the time! He will never forget you. He will never leave of forsake you world without end. He will be with you till the end of time and for eternity! 

Who would deny such love? Why do people not trust in God? Because they are not sure and do not really believe that God loves them that much. Most people hate themselves, hate their lives, their conditions – and God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten Son so that anyone who believes should not perish but be saved. Would you give your son or daughter to save this world? How much do you love the people of this world? Are people really worth loving – even if they never return that love?  

Is your love unselfish or selfish? Do you expect a return where you love? Does your love envelope have a return address on it? Or can you love unconditionally? Can you love for twenty years? Can you love for a life time? 

 

Perfect Love Casts Out Fear 

Oh, if we only knew how much God really loves us we would go through life with much more assurance and confidence. Love drives out all fear 1 John 4:18. What do you fear? Failure? People? Circumstances? Death? Violence? Accidents? Nightmares? War? Physical pain? Emotional pain? Mental distress? Poverty? Lack? Uncertainty? The future? Your past? The present? Financial disaster? Rejection? Confusion? 

If it were possible place all the things you fear in the one scale and the fear of God in the other and see which one weighs the heaviest. Instead of fearing all those other things begin to fear God and begin to do what is right in His sight. Begin to love Him instead of all the things in the world. Make your eye single then your body shall be full of light. Let the Holy Spirit pour out the love of God in your heart so that all other fears will leave. 

We need to learn to walk in faith and to operate in love – like Jesus did.  

There are three things we can start doing: keep the word, do what it tells you and feed the sheep. 

Jesus asked Peter three times if he loved Him. Every time Peter affirmed his love for the Master Jesus gave Him a simple instruction to prove His love: feed my sheep; feed my sheep; feed my lambs! 

 

How can you keep the word of God? 

How do you do what He tells you to do in His word? 

How can you feed His sheep? 

 

Nuances of meanings for Love & Feed 

Love is “agapao” in Greek (Thayer’s Greek Definitions G25) and it means to ‘love dearly and be content with that person or thing that you love’. 

Feed in Greek is ‘bosko’ (Thayer’s G1006) and it means to promote the spiritual well-being of others. 

The second time he tells Peter to feed the flock he uses the Greek word ‘poimeino’ (Thayer’s G4165) that refers more to governing and ruling well. It gives the image of a shepherd looking for suitable pasture for his flock so that they can be well nourished. The root word here is ‘poimen’ and it speaks of caring for those who are committed to your teaching, in other words, you cannot pastor or shepherd everyone that comes to church, only those who are committed to receive the word God gives to you to give to them. In the near East the shepherds would watch out for their flocks and even defend them against lions or bears like David the shepherd boy. They would heal the wounded and find the lost or trapped sheep. During the second World War a shepherd was a pilot who shepherded a damaged plane back to base by flying next to it to maintain eye contact. 

 

The third time Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him he uses the word ‘phileo’ (Thayer’s  G5368) which actually asks the question slightly differently: ‘are you my friend and do you actually like doing something for me that I ask you to do – as a friend would?’ It also gives the picture of a bridegroom who sends his friend to ask the hand of his beloved in marriage and to secure that marriage deal for him.  

 

This made Peter feel offended and sorrowful: ‘opeio’ (Thayer’s  G3076) means he was uneasy and had scruples about that question. In his heart of hearts he started questioning Jesus’ motives for asking him these questions publicly. Why is He doing this? He is embarrassing me in front of all the other guys. Why isn’t He asking them the same questions? 

 

Then after all the question and answer routine – if that was not enough – Jesus predicts that Peter would one day bear a yoke in his old age that he would not have chosen…in other words…are you prepared to suffer for my sake too? If you are grieved now because I question you concerning your love for me, how will your love last if it is really put to the test? 

 

Gird yourself is ‘zonnumi’  “to bind about especially with a belt” (Strong’s Concordance G2224) and the root word ‘zugos’ (Strong’s G2218) refer to a yoke or a burden of an ox or a slave and it refers to the laws of Moses and the yoke of Christ. Can Christ do with you what He pleases? Will your love allow Him to do whatever He wants to with your life? Will it please you if it pleases Him? Or will you say, ‘I am sore displeased with the way things are working out in my life. This is not what I planned to do with my life. This is not the way things were supposed to happen. It is not fulfilling the goals I set for my life.’ 

 

Oh dear friend, Jesus Christ is testing the hearts of those who say they are His followers in these days for He is about to do some amazing things, but He wants to be sure that you are totally committed to Him. He tested Peter to the extreme because He wanted to use Him on the day of Pentecost to preach to 3000 people and see them get saved. He wanted to send Him to towns to raise the dead and to preach to families until the Holy Spirit fell on them and they all began to speak in tongues! He wanted to know if Peter would go through public beatings and imprisonment for His name’s sake. 

 

How much do you love the Saviour? The One who died for your sins? The One who died in your place? Do you love Him today – or will you turn Him away? 

 

Carry in Greek is ‘phero’ (Strong’s G5342.) and it means to endure the rigour of a thing by carrying it. It means to bear it patiently until it is produced or announced – like a ship carrying cargo over the waters until it reaches its destinations. Will that ship be able to wither the storms? Will the ballast in the bottom of the bow of that ship keep it upright when the waves threaten to overthrow it?  

 

You will stretch out your hands and someone else will gird you, Peter. That girdle refers to the money belt. When you have to accept what God determines and not what you want, will you still love Him enough to serve Him? Will you be contented with your lot? Or will you be grieved? Will you cast off the yoke when it chaffs your neck? 

 

Oh, dearly beloved, there is a high price for true discipleship, but the sweet fellowship with a living Lord opens up other dimensions in the spiritual realms that self-effort and goal setting cannot do! The yielded soul will know a rest that only God can give. You will walk above the earthly things like floating on a cloud. You will see the heavens open like Stephen the first Christian martyr and you will cry out with Him, ‘Father forgive them for they know not what they are doing to me!’ And Jesus will rise up out of His seat at the right Hand of the majesty of God to salute the one that is willing to show the greatest kind of love this world has ever known: there is no greater love than to lay down your life for your friends. Joh 15:13  Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends. 

 

Then Jesus concluded this discussion with the simple but powerful words: ‘Follow me’ or in Greek, ‘akulotheo’ (Strong’s G190). Follow means He must move before you do. He is in front and you are behind. He is the Alpha, the beginning of everything. Until He speaks you keep quiet. Until He shows you what to do you do nothing. This is the kind of life He wants for everyone who follows. How closely are you following Him? How closely are you following His instructions? Are you paying attention to Him or just going on doing whatever you want to? 

 

Peter used to live like that but there came a time that he stretched out his hands and took on the yoke of Christ and submitted to the Master that he was even willing to go where he previously did not want to go to. He did not want to mix with the gentiles but after Jesus showed him a vision and spoke to him, he finally went and opened the door of salvation with the keys of the Kingdom committed to Him (Acts 10). 

 

Thou wouldest not – ‘thelo’ explains that you have the mind and the desire to do something. It was your determined purpose and you are fond of doing it. What God is asking today is if you are willing to give that up as well. Are you willing to surrender so completely to His will that you will stretch out your hands and let Him put on the girdle of His choice and lead you wherever He wills? Are you willing to lay down everything of your own choice for His sake? 

 

He spoke to Peter of the sort of death through which he would glorify God. We do not really know how Peter died eventually but the historians reckon that he was crucified but preferred to be crucified upside down for he did not think he was worthy to die just like His Master. 

 

Did Peter prove His love to Jesus?  

 

God loves you today. Do you love Him? Do you love Him enough to keep His word and to do what He tells you to do in His word? Are you happy and content to yield to His will in your life? Then your life will also glorify God and even – as in Peter’s case – your death as well. 

 

Characteristics of LOVE 

I Corinthians 13 give us characteristics of love 

We love God by keeping His commandments – John 15: 10 

We love Jesus by doing what He tells us in His word – John 14:23. 

As we behold His love we can love others –  

His love is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit – Romans 5:5 

We love Him by praising and worshipping Him – Ps 63:3 

We love Him by loving others – 1 John 4:20,21 

We love Him by pursuing holiness & righteousness – 1 Tim6:11 

We keep ourselves in the love of God by looking for the mercy of Jesus – Jud 21 

We love Him by loving His return – “appearing” 2 Timothy 4:8 

Love beautifies us! Psalm 149:4 

 

1 Corinthians 13:1-9 

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.3 And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part. 

NKJV