How to overcome offences

Preached by Apostle Andre Pelser

The Greek Word for ‘offence’ is ‘skandalon’. It means ‘a baited stick’. It is the stick smeared with honey on which you stick bird seeds to attract birds, but at the same time the stick holds up the bird trap. When the birds come to nibble on the seeds the stick falls and the trap closes on the birds. So the stick is a decoy to trap birds.

One of the enemy’s greatest weapons is to make people feel offended. Once you ‘take the offence’ you are trapped and you can no longer judge a situation with clarity. You are inside the devil’s box as it were as his prey.

Jesus clearly stated, ‘do not take the offence’. You cannot help that offences come. That is normal. But you have the power to decide if you will take the ‘baited stick’ or ignore it.

An offended brother is hard to win back. (Proverbs 18:19) He cannot see why he is offended. All he knows is that he is hurt and you are the cause of the hurt. It might not be true but he took the offence and is trapped in the dark box of the offended. He feels you failed in your duty towards him and scandalized him. From then onwards he treats you like a criminal and stumbles over you. It raises an impediment up between you and him.

What people sometime do is to draw other people into the same offence. This is dangerous because people do not check the facts and do not know the truth about the situation. They are drawn into someone else’s offence. This is how church splits start. This is how families break up. This is how people lose their jobs and why marriages sometimes fail. Offence is a powerful tool in the hand of the enemy.

The only way out is to admit that you are trapped in an offence. Then you ask God forgiveness for entering the trap and ask Him to deliver you out of the ‘box’. Once you are out you can suddenly see clearly again and things begin to make sense. If you have drawn others into your offence you have to repent of doing so and also pray for them that they be delivered from the offence.

People are offended because

They do not love sincerely (love is not easily offended)

They listen to lies of the enemy

They are not grounded in the Word of truth

They cannot discern the work of the enemy

They will not listen to wise counsel

They are too sensitive and have not died to self yet

They are not willing to ‘suffer’ on behalf of Christ

They are not prepared to endure any kind of hardship for the Gospel’s sake

The are proud and over-estimate themselves and under-estimate others

Learning to overcome offences is a great remedy for any organization. It takes humility and meekness to overcome offences. Paul says the one should regard the other higher than himself. This is the way of agape love. I Corinthians 13:4-9 tell us more about that kind of love: it is patient and kind and not easily offended.

If one does not overcome an offence it can lead to secret hatred. Jesus said, if you think your brother has something against you then you should go to your brother and sort it out. You will find that most of the time it is misunderstandings that can be sorted out peaceably. 

Sometimes it is good to have a go-between or mediator when tackling an offence. A third person can be neutral and listen to both sides to give kind advice in the situation.

Practicing not to take an offence is an art that takes time to be acquired. But all things are possible to those who believe.

John the Baptist faced offences. (Matthew 11:1-6)

He prophesied how Jesus would baptize people with fire and sift people, how Jesus would put in the axe to cut people off from the vine, but when Jesus came he was meek and humble and forgave and ate with sinners. It did not fit the picture John had about the Messiah! So he was offended. When he was in prison he sent his disciples to ask Jesus if he is really the one he prophesied about!

It was difficult for him to let go of his own opinion. Jesus said, ‘blessed are you if you are not offended in me.’

Reasons why people take offence

They have false expectations of someone

They are easily disillusioned (the inner picture clashes with the outward)

They are too opinionated. Naaman: ‘I thought the prophet would…’ (Judas also had a false expectation about what Jesus ought to do)

They do not like the demands of the Gospel. It irritates them.

When you take the offense you will become disillusioned with life and people. You lose your enthusiasm; your drive and energy are both gone. Then you begin to withdraw. That is the reason why many people stop going to church. They have been offended. They say they have been hurt, but really they took the offence and are boxed in.

Sources of offences

Sin in life

False prophecy and false teaching from false brothers

Rumors based on lies

Persecution because of the Word’s sake (Matthew 13)

Rejecting correction because of stubborn pride

Those who love God will not be offended easily – Psalm 119:165

Remove sin from a life and strengthen relationships to avoid offences. Beware those who cause offences. God removes the rebels from our midst. Learn to forgive as God forgives, for Christ’s sake, not because anyone deserves it! (Ephesians 4:32)